Saturday, December 6, 2008

Cheating-It Doesn't Have To Happen

By Carol Ann

Most of the time when you talk to a spouse who has committed adultery, they will say, "I never meant for this to happen." While this might be a half truth, the issue is they allowed the opportunities to arise where cheating became a possibility.

First you must keep in mind that men and women are very different. Men are a bit naive when it comes to what a woman is truly capable of. Women are planners, and if they are interested in a man they will find a way to weasel themselves into his life, married or not. They will find out where he eats, where he hangs out with his friends, and where he works out. She will keep finding reasons to be where you are when you are there. Most men think that this is a coincidence when in fact she is carefully stacking her cards to make a move. So the very first thing is don't be naive.

Secondly, and I believe the true key to keeping yourself faithful to your spouse is to stay away from fire. It is a normal reaction to feel attracted to someone, but you don't need to act on those feelings. If you know there is a woman that you are attracted to then stay away. You don't need to complicate your life and confuse your own feelings by being around that person. Be sure that you are not alone with this person. Do not meet outside of the work place, even when in a group, and if you must attend a business function or something like that then bring your wife along. This will insure that nothing will be happening. If for some reason this person lets you know that they are interested immediately reinforce to them that you are not interested and that you are happily married. For some this will be a deterrent.

Whatever you do, don't allow the opportunities to get the best of you. If you don't set yourself up for trouble, then more than likely you won't get into any. Remember, don't even flirt with the idea of having an affair, and you will steer clear of one.

Focus your energy on your marriage and if you are having marriage problems then seek out the help from a marriage counseling expert. An affair will only compound your problems, it wont make anything better.

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